Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

r.j. kushner
r.j. kushner

1K Followers

Home

About

Pinned

The Worst of Me

A compilation vacation — This year, as some of you may know, I’ve been participating in a “Daily” Monologue challenge, as well as serializing a novel about ghosts. It turns out that such endeavors really clutter up a Medium page. Frankly, it smells like a gym bag on here. So, inspired by David Sedaris’s…

Humor

2 min read

The Worst of Me
The Worst of Me
Humor

2 min read


5 days ago

Create New Opportunities

Hello and welcome to another edition of Extreme Meditation for Winning, a blog series to help you dominate your insufferable mind. I am an author, psychologist and person of interest in the disappearance of Lawrence Sanchez. Today I want to talk with you about creating new opportunities. They say “opportunity…

Advice

3 min read

Create New Opportunities
Create New Opportunities
Advice

3 min read


Mar 13

The Illusion of Control

Hello and welcome to Extreme Meditation For Winning, a new blog series where I help you take a few moments to step out of the internal chatter and into the realm of titans. In these posts we’ll pause and reflect to consider and ponder what brings us together in this…

Comedy

3 min read

The Illusion of Control
The Illusion of Control
Comedy

3 min read


Mar 1

A Little Advice

Hey, pal, let me give you a little advice. I can tell you’re new to the subway. Let me help you out. You see that ugly freak sitting over there and copying all my movements? That’s my twin brother Moe. He thinks he’s real funny but he’s not. Everybody who…

Fiction

3 min read

A Little Advice
A Little Advice
Fiction

3 min read


Feb 25

I’m Sorry (Fill in the Blank)

A template for crafting the perfect social media-culpa. — Dear _____, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over the past couple of _____, and it’s clear that those things I _____ were selfish and wrong. I’m disgusted by my _____. I realize a lot of the _____ has already been _____. But I wanted to express my _____…

Humor

2 min read

I’m Sorry (Fill in the Blank)
I’m Sorry (Fill in the Blank)
Humor

2 min read


Jan 22

The St. Francis Prayer To Stop Birds from Pooping On Him

O Lord Let your birds of the sky continue to surround me Let them continue to inspire me But maybe once in a while O Lord Could you have the birds Ease up on the turds? I accept your will in all things, O Lord Including the birds you send…

Humor

1 min read

The St. Francis Prayer To Stop Birds from Pooping On Him
The St. Francis Prayer To Stop Birds from Pooping On Him
Humor

1 min read


Published in The Haven

·Dec 15, 2022

I’m Not Happy With The Role I’ve Been Assigned In Mike’s Elaborate Marriage Proposal

I think my talents are being wasted in this role. — Hi Glenn, I’ve tried calling Mike but keep getting the voice mail. Guess he’s busy! Anyway, I wanted to talk with someone about the role I’ve been assigned in the marriage proposal. I know you’ve kind of swooped in to take over a lot of the planning from Mike. Great…

Humor

3 min read

I’m Not Happy With The Role I’ve Been Assigned In Mike’s Elaborate Marriage Proposal
I’m Not Happy With The Role I’ve Been Assigned In Mike’s Elaborate Marriage Proposal
Humor

3 min read


Dec 14, 2022

Notes From My Vacation On The Island of Doctor Moreau

Finally made it to the hotel. The lobby stunk like vomit. I complained to Moreau and he said it was probably because I’d just vomited all over the davenport. He’s very smug. They should call him “Doctor Smug.” Anyway, then this big furry freak came over and took my bags…

Humor

3 min read

Notes From My Vacation On The Island of Doctor Moreau
Notes From My Vacation On The Island of Doctor Moreau
Humor

3 min read


Nov 30, 2022

The Most Forgotten Band Of the Century: An Oral History of the Escalator Boys

We took a deep dive to find out what happened to one of the most uninfluential bands of the century. — The Escalator Boys were a doo-wop band of incredibly little importance throughout the 1950s and 1960s. Despite their complete irrelevance, several of the band’s tunes inexplicably topped the charts, among them such hits as, “Stale Breath of the Lonely,” “Pass the Vaseline, Bluebird,” and “Well, What About Your Sister? She…

Humor

7 min read

The Most Forgotten Band Of the Century: An Oral History of the Escalator Boys
The Most Forgotten Band Of the Century: An Oral History of the Escalator Boys
Humor

7 min read


Nov 23, 2022

The Frontiersman’s Diary

In September of 1906, Elijah Dane Coleridge, heir to the Coleridge pastry fortune, defiantly set out to live in a secluded cabin in Alaska and, aside from continued cartoon caption submissions to the New Yorker, was never heard from again. Years after his disappearance, the following diary entries were discovered…

Humor

13 min read

The Frontiersman’s Diary
The Frontiersman’s Diary
Humor

13 min read

r.j. kushner

r.j. kushner

1K Followers

Dubbed by the New York Times as “all out of free articles this month.”

Following
  • Kyrie Gray

    Kyrie Gray

  • Susan Brearley

    Susan Brearley

  • Terry Trueman

    Terry Trueman

  • Bev Potter

    Bev Potter

  • Scott Myers

    Scott Myers

See all (206)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech