What’s this I hear about you slouching? — The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? — -William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming David, I figured I’d reach…

Questions to help you make this important decision. — If you are reading this, the cryogenic chamber has failed and I am dead. Make sure to have Doctor Charles Borgeson of the Fienberg Cryogenic Institute arrested immediately. The papers incriminating him are in the oak desk that once belonged to Stalin. Now, wipe your tears, soldier. You must begin…

Elementary, my dear Rogan. — I was lunching with Holmes in the latter’s abode when suddenly there came an urgent knock upon his door. Less than a minute later, Sir Frederik Pounce was standing before us in an utter sweat. “Forgive me for the intrusion, gentlemen,” Pounce said nervously. …

Having him there was a monster bummer. — Look, being Dracula isn’t all blood and games, OK? It’s actually a lot of pressure. You try luring virgins to your spooky castle every night. It’s exhausting. And this on top of all my duties as a count. So, when I was planning my annual Monster Mash, you could say…

The Story of Ghost Law | Chapters 23 + 24 — Chapter 23 I woke up in excruciating pain, my hands bound behind my back. My throat was dry, apparently from untold hours of uninterrupted shrieking and at least two hours of harmonizing “The Longest Time.” When I finally got my eyes to focus in the musty room, the first thing I saw…

The Story of Ghost Law | Chapters 21 + 22 — Chapter 21 “Hello, Dennis.” I rubbed my eyes. There before me, the size of a Toyota Corolla, was Halifax — the arch demon who essentially kicked me out of my childhood home. “W.T.F.,” I said. “Halifax? What are you doing here?” “I’m always with you. I’m a part of you. Like your…

The Story of Ghost Law | Chapters 19 + 20 — Chapter 19 Scary was pretty P.O.’d about the gas spilling everywhere, but as she raced to mop it up and I raced to create some sort of torch with the lighter to help her see, the fumes from the gas helped us both calm down. It was as if someone had put…

The Story of Ghost Law | Chapters 17 + 18 — Chapter 17 When I awoke (awakeneded?) Scary was dragging me through the back yard toward the giant rocket ship. “We did it,” I said drowsily. “We escaped.” I pumped my fist into the air. Part of me wished Halifax could see me now — free as a bird and on my way…

The Story of Ghost Law | Chapters 15 + 16 — Chapter 15 We closed the door. For such an intimidatingly large goblin, he “gave up the ghost,” if you will, faster than I expected. After we dragged him in he laid limply on the floor, defeated, complaining of a brush burn on his elbow and promising that he was going to tell…