PinnedPublished inThe JunctionI Didn’t Spend 4 Years in Sky Writing School to Help Sven Propose to My Ex-GirlfriendNot why I did it, frankly.Feb 6, 2021A response icon4Feb 6, 2021A response icon4
PinnedI Accidentally Killed One of the Ninja Turtles And I Am So SorryUgh. I feel awful. I accidentally killed one of the Ninja Turtles and I am so sorry. Damnit. This is just the worst. FML!Oct 21, 2023A response icon1Oct 21, 2023A response icon1
PinnedThe Frontiersman’s DiaryYears after Elijah Coleridge’s disappearance, the following diary entries were discovered in the Alaskan wilderness.Nov 23, 2022A response icon7Nov 23, 2022A response icon7
I can’t stop taking foul balls from kids at baseball gamesHere’s a pet peeve: What is it about jumbotron camera operators that they love filming me forcibly take foul balls from children?Sep 21Sep 21
A Guide to Modern ProtestThe act of protest has been sewed deeply into the fabric of America.Sep 16Sep 16
I Used Ancestry.com’s New AI Feature To ‘Meet’ My Great-Great-GrandfatherBut I went too far back and ended up meeting a guy named Shakka The BruteJun 23Jun 23
A Travel Guide For My One-Bedroom ApartmentUnforgettable experiences abound in Ryan’s apartment.May 9May 9
