Avatar Fan Club Meeting: Please DO NOT Park in the Joann Fabrics Next Door
Why is that so difficult?
To: Na’vi Fam
10:18 p.m.
Subject: July Meeting
Hey Pandora-heads!
Psyched to announce our next meeting will take place July 11 at the usual time and place. We ran out of time last month before we could get to Marcus’s favorite Na’vi tradition, so we’ll start with him this month.
I also want to remind everyone to NOT park in the Joann Fabrics next door. Please park in the spaces BEHIND our building. We’re on thin ice with the Joann Fabrics manager, so please remember this.
See you soon!
John (Tyhni’hai)
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To: Na’vi Fam
8:51 p.m.
Subject: August meeting/Parking Reminder
Hey guys,
Great seeing you all last month, but I feel like a lot of you are still parking at Joann Fabrics. Please DO NOT PARK AT JOANN FABRICS. Those spaces are for Joanne Fabrics customers ONLY. I’m getting a lot of complaints from them after our meetings. Were some of you “bonding” with your tails there after we adjourned? Please DO NOT DO THAT.
If you have any questions about which spots are Joann Fabrics spots, please just ask me. It’s always best to just park BEHIND our building.
Anyway, our next meeting is August 4. Jen will lead the singing.
Thanks,
John (Tyhn’hai)
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To: Na’vi Fam
11:34 p.m.
Subject: September meeting / DO NOT JUMP ON CUSTOMERS AT JOANN’S AND RIDE THEM AROUND
Guys,
I got a serious complaint that some of you are jumping on the shoulders of people coming out of Joann Fabrics and riding them around the parking lot screaming Na’vi war chants. PLEASE DO NOT GO NEAR JOANN FABRICS DURING OUR MEETINGS. You are giving us a bad name and I am getting A LOT OF COMPLAINTS.
Keep all Na’vi behavior confined to our meetings or they will take away our permit. Is that what you want? Please just stay away from the Joann Fabrics. Why is that so difficult?
Next meeting date is September 9. Pandora history test will NOT be open-book.
Thanks,
John (Tyhn’hai)
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To: Na’vi Fam
1:11 a.m.
Subject: War
Brothers and sisters,
You were there. You saw what those fabric freaks did to Craig’s warrior beads. They think they can dishonor us with their fancy scissors and then rip away our permit without a fight? They’re clearly not familiar with who we are. But they will be. The winds of war are upon us and it’s time for us to make a stand.
Have we always been perfect neighbors? No. We’ve made mistakes. We parked in their spots and maybe went a little overboard with passionate Na’vi lovemaking. But have we also made attempts on our part to coexist? Yes, which is more than I can say for them.
The line must be drawn here. On November 14 we make our stand. On November 14 we show Joann Fabrics we won’t be silenced!
To war!
Tyhn’hai (John)
P.S. everyone please also remember to bring $6 to pay Julie back for the new club Blu-ray.
