GreatVets PetCare Newsletter Updates

Pay your bills, people.

Dear GreatVets clients,

That’s it, Justin is gone from reception. I’ve had it. Try to do your nephew a favor, this is what you get. I know many of you will be relieved to hear this. I confess, he’s a nitwit. Guy couldn’t schedule his own birthday if he tried. But what can I do? He’s family. He’d eat a mousepad if you didn’t stop him, but he’s family. I put him in the back and told him to organize the stool samples by shape and color. It’s not a real job, but the kid needs work. Let’s all pray to God he doesn’t set the clinic on fire. God help me.

In other news, I’ve spoken to nurse Wendy about biting dogs on the rump. She doesn’t deny the claims. She says it’s a tactic she uses to assert dominance. Who are we to question her methods? Who are we, indeed. I’ve told her to stop but to be honest, the woman frightens me. From now on, if you see nurse Wendy bite your dog, tell her to knock it off yourselves. I can only do so much. I’m only one man. I should have been a chiropractor like my cousin Alvy. No kids, golf on the weekends. A life! Not cursed to live every day in fear! Never once urinated on by a ferret!

Anyway, pay your bills, people. They’re stacking up and my roof is a disaster. Twenty years of private practice and I need an umbrella to walk to the kitchen.