Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

I’m Sorry (Fill in the Blank)

A template for crafting the perfect social media-culpa.

r.j. kushner
2 min readFeb 25, 2023

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Dear _____,

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over the past couple of _____, and it’s clear that those things I _____ were selfish and wrong. I’m disgusted by my _____.

I realize a lot of the _____ has already been _____. But I wanted to express my _____ apology again.

To _____, I am sorry. Neither you nor ____ deserved that. I need to do better.

And to the puppeteer that I _____: I’m _____.

It doesn’t matter whether or not the puppeteer _____ it. I was wrong because I _____ the puppet’s _____.

However, I don’t think it’s _____ to blame me entirely for _____ puppeteer’s _____ behavior. I even think _____ puppeteer might even owe me _____ apology for _____.

_____? _____.

Regardless, I promise to learn and grow from this experience.

And, while I don’t mean to keep bringing up _____ puppeteer thing, I’d also like to state that I’m not in _____ with _____ puppet. That’s a _____ and I never actually said _____.

Is the puppeteer _____ this? Tell him I _____ said it, and I’ll _____ his _____ off if he ever _____ the puppet’s _____ with me again. I won’t _____ made _____ fool of by _____ puppet. He’s the _____ fool and I _____ CARE who _____!!!

I am sorry.

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r.j. kushner

Dubbed by the New York Times as “all out of free articles this month.”