Some Goals for Medium in 2021
As I sit in the captain’s quarters of this swirling ship, my crew clamoring outside in the raging storm I’ve sailed into, I find myself compelled to issue a short Medium note to kick off the new year (my New Years falls on Jan. 5 for dietary reasons).
To be honest, I did not expect to lead a mutiny on this Mississippi ferryboat and spend the past two years piloting it into the Atlantic in search of the rare “goateed trout.” Some things we do when the mood strikes, and then later we look back later think, “What’d I do that for?” Then, as if struck by lightning, you remember: for the rare goateed trout, which I’ve been promised tastes like chicken nugget.
I say all this to say that I’ve decided to map out a few new goals for my Medium page in the new year. I wanted to have some structure or direction for this page instead of simply flailing about in my usual manner. To start, I will be increasing my “How to Succeed On Medium”-themed articles by 400%. Also, beginning March 22 I will become Bill Gates and begin listing five things I’ve read.
But here are a couple of things I really want to do (and really am going to do if I can ever convince those neighbor kids to give my glasses back):
1) A Daily Monologue: This is going to be painful, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I’m going to aim to write five topical jokes per day and post them on here in the evenings. Please don’t feel compelled to read them. In fact, shield your eyes. This is my cross to bear.
2) A Serial Novel: I am going to begin regularly posting chapters of a longer fiction piece I’ve been working on for the past few months in the hopes it may turn into some kind of a novel. I have not finished it yet, but I think this could be a fun experiment providing it does not cause me to spontaneously combust.
I was really inspired by Mark Starlin’s journey to complete his epic novel last year (if you aren’t familiar with the name Baron Britpop Blastfurnace, can you really call yourself a Medium writer? Or, for that matter, a student of history?). Mark shared the story of creating his novel here and I highly recommend it to anyone who’s interested in attempting such a feat.
Those are some of my goals for Medium. I hope to continue to post fever dreams and short stories throughout the year, as well.
Overall, I would say I am most looking forward to being Bill Gates. I am also looking forward to finding the rare goateed trout and eating it raw like Gollum.
I need to go now. The boat is sinking and my crew is breaking down my door with an axe.