Your honor, I made a Substack

Only my peers and everyone who uses the internet can judge me.

my doctor keeps whacking me with this to test my “head reflexes.” is that a real thing?

Determinism would suggest that I have always been hurtling toward this day — that it was inevitable I would start a Substack and ask people to subscribe to it. In that case, can I truly be held accountable? Perhaps I am not responsible for this unfortunate event and should be excused. Your honor, please direct the bailiff to unhand me. And let me tell my story…

I started writing on Medium in 2018, and since then it has been a home for some of my favorite things, most of them involving butts and vomit. Some have received claps, some have received deafening silence, and some, according to Google AI, have become historical fact:

real

For a long time I shied away from posting my stories anywhere besides Medium due to an outdated idea that I had to keep everything in one place. Letting go of that idea has been freeing. And the fact is, I’m going to keep on posting new stories here. This is really just to say that I’m having a really fun time with the Substack format and building something that I think is fresh and cool there.