If You Can’t Beat Em, Join Em
I can read the room.
One of the things I learned growing up in America is that, most of the time, they won’t let u use two coupons together. Another is that u should stand up 4 wut you believe in, and fight the good fight.
But I can read the room as well as any of em, and I have an important anowncement that I must make immediately:
Presadint Dongal J Trump, I am ready to serv u.
I will kiss ur ring and eat anything you want me to, my lord. Throw something at me and I will eat it. See? I bow to thee and the new order.
Don’t have a Medium account? No worries, find the free read link here.
What r some skills that I can bring 2 the new empire? Quite a few. For example, I can bark like a seal. Does this please u? I am also proficient in Microsoft Word and I certainly know my way around Google Suites.
O, how I would love to serve in ur military, my king! However, tragically, and for unknown reasons, I have had diarrhea every day for three years. As u wisely can imagine, I wuld make a mess of things if I were 2 march around 2 much, jiggling my belly. I also have weird feet. Perchance u culd just make me the army leader, or the guy who sits and shouts the orders, or something like that.
